As a child I could sometimes put myself into a state of absolute realization of my insignificance in the scheme of things and of my amazing luck in being alive and aware. I did this by staring hard at a leaf or a piece of woven fabric or any textured object. When I told my dad about this he was impressed and told me I was a very lucky person. I wasn't so sure, because it was a little scary. I didn't do it too often. Years later one of my daughters told me that she had had the same experience, but she had found it terrifying. I told her what my dad had told me. I also wondered if other people who had this experience called it a panic attack, which I used to hear about on a.m. radio call-in shows in the middle of the night. My daughter thought this 'awakening' experience was quite different from a panic attack.Some forms of Buddhism believe in instant nirvana which could strike like a revelation. Of course this was frowned upon by rulers who depended on the endless quiet meditation practiced by their people to keep order. I do not think this amazing and sobering experience was any form of enlightenment, because neither I nor my daughter were any wiser for it.
More likely a form of epilepsy?
No comments:
Post a Comment